The “flying cow” is the new unit of UFO mass.
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| The Sun | 8 January, 2009 |
OK, so there isn’t really a story here, but I just couldn’t stay away from it. This news is a front page splash in The Sun. It’s a story that’s got everything. It’s got Strange Lights in the Sky. It’s got UFOs. It’s got wind turbines. It’s got flying cows. It’s got the lot.
At about 4 am on the morning of January 4, 2009, a blade broke off a wind turbine at Ecotricity’s wind farm in Conisholme, Lincolnshire, and a second blade was bent out of shape. Some hours earlier, mysterious lights had been seen in the sky around Conisholme. The Sun knows exactly where to take this story: “UFO Hits Wind Turbine” is their front page lead [1], alongside a full-page photo of the unfortunate turbine.
“Missing Blade Riddle”
What happened to the turbine blade that broke off? We have a “Missing Blade Riddle”, according to the Sun’s front page headline. The story continues:
Baffled power chiefs said of the smash in Conisholme, Lincs: “We have a team investigating.” There was no trace of the missing blade. A UFO expert said: “We are very excited.”
V. Wheeler and J. Brain,
The Sun, January 8, 2009 [1]
Well, actually, there is a trace of the missing blade. It’s lying on the ground at the base of the turbine. Dale Vince, Managing Director of Ecotricity, explains:
It’s actually on the ground, it’s not actually missing. Early reports said it was missing, and that made it sound rather more dramatic.
Dale Vince of Ecotricity,
BBC Radio 4, January 8, 2009 [2]
“Size of a Cow”
Dale Vince goes on to suggest that a collision might have caused the damage. He finds his own way to explain the size of object required to break the turbine blade:
Something the size and shape or weight of a cow would probably do it.
Dale Vince of Ecotricity,
BBC Radio 4, January 8, 2009 [2]
In fact, there’s no particular reason to invoke a collision at all. The first turbine blade might have sheared off, striking the second blade on the way down:
But Fraser McLachlan, chief executive of GCube, which insures more than 25,000 wind turbines worldwide, said that although it is unusual, this type of incident happens about five or six times a year.
“It does happen that a blade will sometimes just come off a machine for one reason or another,” he said. “The main reason is the blade may shear.”
“We don’t normally see things like aircraft – or UFOs – hitting them. It’s usually a mechanical failure that causes the blade to separate from the main hub.”
The freezing weather was another possible cause of the breakage, he said, adding that it could cost up to £250,000 to repair.
R. Silverman and T. Usherwood,
The Independent, January 8, 2009 [3]
“Massive Ball of Light With Tentacles”
What about the lights in the sky, then? It’s those mysterious lights that really make the UFO story. The Sun’s newshounds continue:
Other locals told how the lights looked like balls of flames. Lesley Whittingham, 71, even managed to photograph it – and said: “It looked like a giant explosion in the air.”
John Harrison, another witness, described how he looked out of his landing window and saw a “massive ball of light with tentacles going right down to the ground” over the wind farm. He said: “It was huge. With the tentacles it looked just like an octopus.”
V. Wheeler and J. Brain,
The Sun, January 8, 2009 [1]
What could those tentacles be? By an extraordinary coincidence, a Guardian journalist’s family lives right next door to the wind farm. They were holding a fireworks party that night:
The Guardian News & Media director of digital content, Emily Bell, would like to make it clear that her family had no part in damaging any of those 65 ft multimillion-pound turbine blades – but she can help explain those “massive balls of light with tentacles going right down to the ground”, as one onlooker described them to the Sun.
Those mysterious lights were actually the fireworks Emily’s brother Tim had bought at the local garden centre for the 80th birthday party of dad Peter Bell. “It was a medium-sized fireworks display with absolutely no ballistics, and the fireworks were mostly dropping over my parents’ house. But we were laughing that we could have broken the wind turbine,” jested Emily.
J. Kiss,
The Guardian, January 8, 2009 [4]
Yeah, that’s what they want you to think.
Conclusion
The flying cow did it, in cahoots with the shape-shifting ufonauts from the Guardian.
References
- UFO hits wind turbine, V. Wheeler and J. Brain, The Sun, January 8, 2009
- ‘UFO’ hits wind turbine, Today Programme, BBC Radio 4, January 8, 2009
- Mechanical failure theory in ‘UFO mystery’, R. Silverman and T. Usherwood, The Independent, January 8, 2009
- UFOs crashing into wind farms: has the Guardian solved the mystery? J. Kiss, The Guardian, January 8, 2009
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3 responses so far ↓
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